Everywhere you look, there are confusing messages about what it means to be “healthy.” Social media is filled with before-and-after photos, diets with endless rules, and people celebrating weight loss like it’s the ultimate sign of wellness. It’s no wonder so many of us feel stuck, questioning if we’re doing enough, or doing it “right.”
But here’s the truth: real health is not about chasing a smaller number on the scale, following rigid food rules, or pushing yourself through habits that feel like punishment and torture. Health is about treating yourself well and feeling good in your body.
I want to help clear up the confusion by looking at 10 things real health isn’t, and more importantly, what you can focus on instead to actually feel better in and about your body.
Because you deserve a version of health that’s simple, supportive, and sustainable, without guilt, shame, or overwhelm.
10 Things Real Health Isn’t
- Health is not a size or shape
- Different bodies can be healthy at different sizes. I’m sure we’ve all known someone that is really thin, but eats all kinds of fried, sugary and nutrient lacking foods. And you probably also know women that exercise consistently, prioritize nutrient dense foods and are in larger bodies.
- We see this because, our size is not a direct tie to how we treat our bodies. Our outward appearance isn’t an indicator of how healthy we are on the inside. Unfortunately, society and even Doctors often don’t recognize this to be true
- Health is not avoiding entire foods or food groups
- Restriction creates guilt and stress, not wellness. When we tell ourselves we can’t have something, we just want it more and then when we give in, we feel bad about ourselves. It creates a constant struggle between what we want and what we think we “should” be doing, which isn’t good for our mental or physical health.
- Balance, variety, and satisfaction are important for our well -being. When we cut out whole food groups we don’t just feel deprived we are depriving ourselves of the nutrients found in those foods and taking supplements is not an effective solution to make up for it.
- Health is not hating your body
- Self-loathing never leads to sustainable habits. Why would we treat our bodies well if we don’t even like them? We’re more likely to self-sabotage when we’re unhappy with ourselves and our bodies.
- Treating your body with care and respect is the way to achieve sustainable health. When we have a neutral or positive attitude towards our body, it becomes less of a struggle to treat it well.
- Health is not exercising in ways you dread
- Forcing yourself to do workouts you hate leads to burnout. It also makes it a lot more likely that you’ll make excuses to skip the workouts you had planned to do. It’s much easier to make excuses to avoid things you don’t even like doing, no matter how much you believe you should be doing it.
- Moving in ways that feel good and energize you will make exercise feel like a way to celebrate what your body can do. That 15 minute walk that you enjoy doing and actually do will be a lot more beneficial than the hour long cross training class that you keep skipping. The best exercise will always be the one that you actually do.
- Health is not weighing, counting, and measuring every bite
- Obsession with numbers takes the joy out of food and out of life in general. It can be tedious, but also make us feel restricted and stressed when we’re not in complete control of the foods that are available (like at social gatherings). Food is not just fuel, it’s meant to be enjoyed.
- Listening to hunger, fullness, and satisfaction cues will lead to healthier eating habits than trying to be in control of food ever will. Our bodies actually do know what they need. We just need to listen.
- Health is not struggling to follow a rigid plan
- Life is unpredictable (especially for moms). Trying to stick to some plan that doesn’t actually fit with our lives or that we even like just creates more stress and feelings of failure. If the way you eat doesn’t work in your real life, it’s not going to be sustainable over time.
- Flexible, realistic habits you can sustain are what will have the most impact on your health. All foods fit in a healthy diet. It’s all about finding the balance and what works for you in your own life and for your body. Nobody knows that better than you.
- Health is not habits that feel like punishment
- If it feels like torture, you won’t stick with it. Nobody wants to be punished all the time! If you are constantly telling yourself that you “should” do something, instead of “I could” do this, it will never be easy. We can only take so much hard, before we give up.
- Habits that feel supportive, not like a chore, will be much easier to maintain. We will continue to feel motivated by things that feel good to us.
- Health is not about “fixing” yourself
- You’re not broken. Your are amazing right now in this moment. Constantly telling yourself that there is something wrong with you will only lead you in the opposite direction health wise.
- Caring for yourself because you’re already worthy will create a much healthier path to feeling good in and about your body. It’s not about “fixing”, it’s about nurturing.
- Health is not tying your size or shape to your worth
- Worth = who you are, not what you weigh or what size you wear. We are all worthy of love, happiness and success. There is no size requirement when it comes to what we can achieve and how we can feel in our lives.
- Practicing self-compassion and confidence in your body now will encourage you to do the things that make life more enjoyable and fulfilling. You’re not going to get more time, so start living the life you want right now.
- Health is not guilt or shame as motivation
- Beating yourself up doesn’t work long term. As I said before, we can only punish ourselves for so long before we give up and go back to what feels safe. Guilt and shame are not long term motivators.
- Encouragement and kindness towards yourself will offer you the support you need to maintain the motivation you need to put the effort in.
What Real Health Looks Like
- Believing you are enough right now. Not waiting for “when”. Living your life the way you want in the moment creates joy and improved health without even thinking about it. Having the confidence to do the things we love builds more confidence and encourages us to strive for even more fulfilling life experiences.
- Moving your body in ways that bring joy will boost your mental and physical health at the same time. It relieves the stress and boosts endorphins when we move in enjoyable ways. We were made to move and it should feel like a natural part of our lives. Movement keeps us functioning in our lives and physically able to do the things we love.
- Nourishing yourself with foods that fuel and satisfy us is so much more important than focusing on an amount of food or calories you’re consuming. Calories make little difference when we’re considering overall health. We need to make food choices based on how they make us feel (digestion, energy, and satiety) what benefits they provide and what foods we actually enjoy.
- Prioritizing rest and sleep might have a much bigger impact than you might ever imagine. It’s truly amazing what a difference sleep can make on how we feel, not just on a daily basis, but over time as well. With proper sleep habits, we reduce our risk of illness and disease, depression, stress, disordered eating and we increase our productivity, energy, metabolism and focus.
- Staying hydrated. Every single function in our bodies require water. If you’re dehydrated, you might be getting by, but you won’t be thriving. Staying hydrating makes you feel more energized, improves digestion, flushes out toxins and even reduces mindless snacking.
- Using stress management tools. If you are experiencing chronic stress, it can be detrimental to your health. Stress triggers inflammation. If inflammation becomes your normal state, you’ll be more likely to experience health issues. This could range from digestion issues and fatigue to a higher risk of cancer. Stress management doesn’t have to be complicated or time consuming to be effective either.
- Setting boundaries that honor your well-being. For a lot of us, it can feel difficult to say “no” when we’ve been asked or invited to do things. Of course we want to be helpful and make people happy, but do you consider what you’re saying “no” to when you say “yes” to all the requests? We only have so much time and energy. If we don’t prioritize the things that truly matter to us, it won’t be long before we find ourselves spending all our time doing things that either make no difference to us or even go against our ultimate goals of improved health. We have to prioritize our own health and well-being. When we do that, we are more helpful to those we love anyways.
Why This Matters for Moms
Our kids are watching. Modeling self-compassion and balance teaches them what real health looks like. It shows them that you don’t have to punish yourself and struggle to feel good. It helps them see that we can be happy in our bodies and not feel the need to fix or change ourselves to meet societal standards. We can focus on things that bring us joy and fulfillment.
When we take care of ourselves and start having more energy, patience and happiness while spending time with our families, we create more positive bonding experiences with them. This makes them feel more secure in the family and in who they are too!
Stop Focusing on What Health is Not
In other words stop focusing on what you look like, the number on the scale, or the next way to punish yourself for the dissatisfaction you’re feeling. Start focusing on the positives. Prioritize the actions you can take and the things that make you feel loved and cared for. Keep it simple and start out with just one small shift. Do you want to have kinder self-talk, drink more water or put the scale away? There are so many simple actions you can take to start your journey to feeling more free in and about your body.
Making these small shifts is what I help my clients with. Over time, these shifts create real and lasting transformation that allows them to start living the lives they have been missing out on. They feel less stress and overwhelm around building healthier habits because it’s no longer complicated or counter to their natural intuition.
Is there something that you’ve been focusing on that you’d like to shift?
