Are you familiar with the holiday food struggle? You’re excited about this special time of year and have fond memories of the special foods that come along with them, but also feel a mixture of stress with the joy when it comes to eating, even more so during this time. You want to bake and enjoy cookies with your kids and experience the special treats other’s have made as well, but in the back of your head is a little voice telling you that you “shouldn’t eat that”. You start stressing about falling off track with your healthy eating. And, that stress takes all the joy out of experiencing the holiday foods.
At first you might try to tell yourself that you’re just going to do without these things this year, you’re going to be “good”. Eventually you’ll probably give in, because you don’t want to be left out. And then, after seemingly losing all willpower, you’ll overindulge and feel guilty afterwards.
What if you could just let go of the guilt and bring in some grace when it comes to food during the holidays and throughout the rest of the year as well? What I mean by this is, giving yourself full permission, expressing self compassion and trusting yourself to enjoy the holiday foods with the knowledge that it won’t ruin your health to have a cookie or a piece of pie. What I’m talking about is focusing more on balance with food.
How the All-or-Nothing Mindset Steals Joy and Balance
Many women tend to choose extremes during the holidays. Either they plan to avoid all holiday “treats” or they are going to eat any and everything they feel like in the moment and deal with the consequences next month.
The ones that are vowing to avoid all the special foods related to the holidays tend to feel restricted, deprived and left out of the full holiday experience at gatherings and events. They struggle between what they think they should do and what they actually want to do.
If you’ve been that person, trying to avoid all the foods you think you “shouldn’t” eat, you probably also know that it doesn’t go so well. If you stick to your plan, you feel deprived and disconnected. If you give in and allow yourself to have some after all, the part of your mind that thinks this is your one chance to enjoy it, makes you eat a lot more than you normally would, because it won’t be available later.
Either choice can easily lead to feelings of guilt and shame and may even trigger emotional eating. However, if we just allow ourselves to enjoy the food in a way that feels good to us, we can shift our mindset and our behavior when it comes to these occasions. It’s not about testing our willpower, it’s about having the right perspective and balance with food.
Reframing Holiday Eating: What Grace Looks Like
There is no perfect eating, and trying to be perfect is what’s going to keep us stuck and frustrated. Instead of trying to be perfect, it’s a lot more realistic and healthy to aim for balance. Having balance with food means you can enjoy a variety, you allow flexibility when it comes to food choices and you trust yourself to choose what works for you.
When we give ourselves grace, we know that we can enjoy a meal, no matter what it is, and still feel good about our choices. One meal is not going to ruin our health and taking pleasure in eating is important too. Giving ourselves grace also means that we don’t tie our worth to what we eat. We are not a better person for eating spinach or a horrible person for eating pie.
When we stop focusing on the food rules and numbers, we can start to focus on the things that really make a difference. Paying more attention to how different foods feel in our bodies, how satisfying they are and our enjoyment of them, will create more sustainable and improved health. After all, it’s not just about nutritional values when it comes to our physical and mental health. Finding the balance with food nourishes both our body and our soul.
Practical Ways to Find Balance with Food During the Holidays
Here’s how you can take action and incorporate balance and grace into your life:
- Eat regular meals — skipping meals to “save up” leads to overeating and guilt.
- Honor hunger and fullness — trust your body to guide you, because it actually does know
- Ditch the food labels — no “good” or “bad” foods, just choices, foods don’t have moral values
- Stay present — focus on the company, not the calorie count. It’s about connection, not numbers
- Move for joy, not punishment — dance, walk, or stretch because it feels good. It shouldn’t feel like a punishment for what you ate
Mindset Shifts for Lasting Food Freedom
So much of our behavior and eating habits are impacted by our perspective. Are your thoughts positive or negative in terms of your relationship with food and your body?
When we tell ourselves that we “shouldn’t” eat something, it creates a mental struggle. We want to, but we aren’t going to allow ourselves. When we make decisions based on listening to our bodies and thinking about the outcomes of our behaviors, we can make the choice that is most beneficial to us. We are not being forced against our will, we are making a free choice. We can make the choice that works for us, not against us.
Planning to be perfect sets us up for failure right away. We’re not perfect beings. We are human after all, not robots. If we have perfection as our goal, and then don’t live up to that expectation, we feel like failures. Generally, if you start at one extreme, it’s pretty easy to go to the opposite extreme. Like, “If I can’t be perfect, why try at all?” If you want to succeed, focus on progress, not perfection.
When we start giving ourselves grace, allowing for imperfection and focusing in on what feels good to us, we also see other changes. Our stress levels will decrease, we might sleep better, we won’t have to obsess over food choices and even our relationships can improve. Modeling self compassion and caring for yourself is a great way to help your kids grow up with a healthy mindset and body image as well.
Give Yourself the Gift of Grace
Eating and food choices are not supposed to be difficult. Food should be a source of nourishment and pleasure, not guilt and frustration. And, we don’t improve our overall health by trying to eat perfectly anyway. How we perceive our food and our bodies can be much more important than the actual foods themselves. Finding balance with food truly is the key.
You don’t have to go through the holidays, or the rest of your life, struggling with your relationship with food. You really can feel more freedom and ease with eating. Because I don’t want you to have to start over again in January, I want to gift you my 12 Days of Stress Less, Food and Body Edition. Just click the button below to get yours!
