Have you lost the desire that you used to feel when it comes to food? Do you remember when food used to feel exciting and not just stressful? Has it now just become another chore on your to-do list? So many women have gone on diet after diet and plan after plan with good intentions. They wanted to feel better, have more energy and get healthier.
Unfortunately, dieting didn’t give them any of those things. Instead those good intentions turned out to unintentionally turn food into a source of guilt and the struggle for control. The diets/plans did not bring more joy or over all health.
This is just another example of what dieting has stolen from us, the pleasure of eating, which is a biologically healthy thing. Don’t worry if you’ve lost the joy in eating though, because you can absolutely get it back!
The Subtle Shift: From Nourishment to Numbers
When we follow a diet, we learn all about how to count, track, and measure our foods. We learn how to be in control and manage what we consume. We categorize different foods with labels like, “good” and “bad”, or “healthy” and “unhealthy”.
This shifts us away from listening to our bodies. We no longer consult ourselves to figure out what we prefer and what are bodies are asking for at the time. Instead we rely on the rules to tell us what, when and how we will eat. Eating becomes a managed task, not something we do for pleasure.
It requires us to give more thought to calculations and not the taste, textures, and satisfaction we experience. That warm and comforting plate of spaghetti with the aroma of Italian spices that we used to savor, has now been reduced to a set of numbers to be recorded and analyzed. It also often requires us to skip or limit our favorite foods, so we can stay on track.
The Emotional Fallout: Guilt, Shame, and Disconnection
Diet culture has taught us that something is wrong with us, we need to be fixed and we can’t trust ourselves when it comes to knowing how to eat. They want us to believe that we have to seek out the answers and follow someone else’s rules to be able to get it right. We are conditioned to believe that we can’t trust our own bodies to know what is actually right for us.
When we do start thinking about what we’d actually like to eat, we often tell ourselves that we shouldn’t. If we stayed on track with the plan/diet, we congratulate ourselves and say that we were “good”. If we do allow ourselves to go off plan, we start our internal negotiations about how we’ll start over tomorrow or exercise more to make up for it, so we don’t have to feel guilty for enjoying our food.
Focusing on the rules and what we deemed the “right” way to eat, causes us to disconnect from the signals that our bodies are giving us. We have to learn how to ignore signs that we are hungry, full or satisfied by what we ate.
Again, it’s no longer about what we enjoy and what our bodies are asking for. The joy and satisfaction gets replaced by the rules and how well we can follow them. Not being able to follow the rules often leads to increased frustration and anxiety. It’s not uncommon for this to trigger an emotional eating episode and even more guilt piled on. If you’ve experienced an emotional eating episode, you know there is no true pleasure in it.
What We’ve Lost: The Pleasure, Comfort, and Connection of Eating
Trying to follow a healthy diet has removed the personal connection we have with food. We are taught that food is just fuel and therefore, we stop thinking about how it can also provide pleasure, comfort and connection with others. We often gather with friends and family to share a meal. These meals aren’t about about fueling ourselves. They are about connecting through shared experiences, pleasure and nourishing our bodies and souls.
If we believe that we have to follow a rigid way of eating that doesn’t allow us to share in the same food experiences with others, it creates anxiety and disconnection. The food and the gathering themselves go from feeling enjoyable to stressful and uncomfortable.
When you go to a birthday party for a loved one, do you want to spend the whole time thinking about what you can and can’t eat, feeling restricted by your rules, and not being included in the full experience. Or, would you rather feel at ease around the foods that are offered and focus more on the personal connections with the people around you?
Reclaiming Joy: What Food Freedom Really Tastes Like
Choosing not to diet, doesn’t mean you have to do a complete 180, eating any and everything in your path. Healthy eating means becoming more mindful about the foods you choose to eat. Noticing how different foods make you feel, listening to your bodies cues and knowing that one meal or one day of eating isn’t going to ruin your health. You can start making choices from a place of care instead of control.
When we start tuning out the diet messages and tuning into our own body’s cues we learn to trust ourselves around food again. Once we rebuild that trust, and know that rules and restrictions aren’t serving us, we can also restore the pleasure we once had with food.
Imagine eating a piece of cake without any guilt, eating when you’re hungry (not by the clock), and rediscovering how satisfying nourishing your body can feel.
Simple Ways to Start Bringing Pleasure Back to Eating
If you’re tired of feeling like eating is a chore and you want to bring the joy and connection back, here are some things you can do that will help:
- Stop labeling different foods as “good” or “bad, “wrong” or “right, “healthy” or “unhealthy”
- Pause and really tune into what you’re eating. Notice the flavor, the smell and the textures
- Instead of asking “what should I eat”, ask “what do I want to eat right now”
- Next time you share a meal with someone, do it without talking about the food in diet terms. Don’t talk about how you’re “being good” or having a “cheat meal”
- Bring some self compassion to the table with you. Remember that perfect nutrition is impossible and what’s more important is your own peace. Taking away the stress around food choices will benefit your health a lot more than following any plan perfectly anyway.
A Reminder That the Pleasure of Eating is Healthy
Being healthy does not have to be a struggle between doing what you should do and doing what you want to do. Finding pleasure in eating is part of being healthy, it’s not the flip side of healthy eating.
The next time you sit down to eat, let go of the rules for a moment. Breathe. Taste. Enjoy. That’s what freedom and real health feels like.
Are you ready to feel more free around food and bring back the pleasure of eating?
